One of the best things about friendship is that you get to experience all different kinds of other lives. You can try them out for a bit and then put them back, or take things from them to change yours.

The last weekend of April I went to stay with two of my friends and their young kids. I got up at 6:45am to play dinosaurs. I was handed semi-chewed bits of food accompanied by the happiest of smiles. I lifted small people up to see art gallery paintings better. I made silly faces. I went to princess storytime at Warwick Castle. I was on the go every second I was awake and I was absolutely shattered after about five minutes.

Last weekend was about celebrating a friend’s birthday. I caught up on house tasks. I met a friend in town. One of my best friends came to stay. I arranged plans and re-arranged them to incorporate extra people. I made a chocolate cake. I played board games. I bought food and hosted a BBQ with Joe. I ate out a lot and went shopping and played video games and watched YouTube videos and went to a few different bars and made strangers laugh. I was on the go every second I was awake…but it was nowhere near as tiring.

At least that was what I thought until I fell asleep on Sunday night without even having the energy to pick up a book. Maybe it was equally tiring, but the second weekend was just easier. More me. But comparing the two weekends made me realise that I’m actually really happy with now things are in my life right now. I spend too much time thinking, ‘I should be doing x’ or ‘What are my long-term goals, anyway?’, and forgetting about how good I already have it.

My life is definitely not something everyone would want, but it’s what I want, and that’s the important thing. That doesn’t mean I feel amazing every day – far from it. But it takes shaking things up to make you realise what you appreciate and what you could do without. I’m still working on it. I’m still working on me.

What I’m struggling with at the moment is finding a friend who shares my long-term goals (or non-goals). At 29, everyone most of my friends are into the house-buying, marriage, kid thing. Even ones who I think of as career-orientated have a long-term plan that involves giving up work to become a stay-at-home parent.

It’s not my thing, and I think I’m okay with that. I’d like to invest in property, start a business, travel (bucket list: Fiji, Australia, Silicon Valley, but there’s hundreds of others out there), and spend some more time getting ‘me’ sorted out. The thought of having a marriage and kids and losing my sense of self terrifies me. I love waking up whatever time I feel like at the weekend surrounded by cats, with the biggest decision to make about whether to go out for breakfast or ask Joe to make pancakes. Mostly I’m like what a child would be like if they had money. I unapologetically watch cartoons, play video games, and get grumpy when I haven’t had a nap.

Crafting a life you love is about finding what works for you. Forget all the ‘5 things successful people do every day’. Forget mindfulness as being the solution to everything. Experiment. Try all the things, no matter how ridiculous. Do the one-offs. Do the scary. Do the things you always wanted but found excuses not to. Don’t think about them. Don’t think about what people might say. Just do them.