About six years ago I moved down south for my first job. Living at least two hundred miles away from every single person I knew was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. I ended up moving back some time later, but not before I’d learned a hell of a lot and met some of the best people I know.

I moved there about a week before I was due to start work, and while I was unpacking and getting used to the weather (warmer) and the prices (insane), I spent quite a bit of time sitting in my room thinking, ‘How do I make some friends here??’

It’s easy if you already know at least one person. It’s easy if you have kids. It’s easy if you’re an extrovert. But what if you don’t and you’re not?

The good news is that it’s actually easier to make friends now than it’s ever been. Even compared to six years ago there are far more options available thanks to the internet and startups (god knows how people coped before then – I don’t even want to think about it).

I’ve made this list based on three things 1) that the suggestions are general enough so that there’s something for everyone; 2) I’ve tried these things personally or know someone who has; 3) they’re all free. Some might even make you money.

Ready to make new friends? Let’s go!

Find people who share your interests

Sounds like a dating site cliche, but it doesn’t have to be. Meetup.com is a directory of all kinds of events happening all over the world. Want to hang out with LGBT gamers in Manchester? You can do that. Want to quilt with people in Inverness? There’s a group for that too.

There are literally thousands of more mainstream groups as well, covering everything from general socialising to films to cycling and even to making friends (so meta). I’m part of quite a few digital marketing and programming-based meetups and go to events pretty regularly. There will be other people there going it alone, but if you’re nervous get in touch with the organiser beforehand – they love new people attending and will help you find your feet and introduce you directly to people. The first time is scary. Don’t back out. If you’re really struggling, go early and find somewhere to sit and scout. I personally find it easier to introduce myself when there are fewer people, so I turn up early to new events.

Volunteer

If you’re based in the UK, Do-It.org.uk is a brilliant website for finding volunteering opportunities covering pretty much everything you can think of. You can help charities, make websites, teach people to cycle…all kinds of things. You can state your availability and fit your volunteering around your job. Joe signed up years ago to help out with the IT for an adult college run as a charity, and now he’s a trusted member of the board.

If you’re not based in the UK, it’s worth doing some research to find out what opportunities are available near you.

Walk other people’s dogs (or let other people walk yours)

Borrowmydoggy.com is a fantastic idea for people who want the fun of playing with and walking a dog without the full-time commitment. If you’ve just moved somewhere new and you can’t commit to a pet or you’re renting, Borrow My Doggy can help you out. I was lucky enough to meet a couple of the people involved with it a few months ago and they’re super nice.

Join local Facebook groups/pages

My tip here is to avoid the buying/selling ones and search for general local groups or ones attached to a specific interest. Many cities, towns, and villages have a local group for all kinds of chat, events, and so on plus specific groups for interests such as running, crafting, photography and much more. Try searching by location name or post/zipcode. Tell people what you’re interested in and ask what’s available in terms of events. Ask if anyone needs a hand, or put forward your own suggestion and start a local photo walk.

Google your interest + your location

This could be anything from knitting to martial arts. I found a company offering cake decorating classes and a shop offering craft workshops, and I went along and met some fun people as well as having some great things to show for my time at the end of it. Some places even offer free workshops for adults, so get googling!

Check out your local pubs and bars

They often have events such as quizzes, live music, festivals, charity nights and so on which are good for meeting people. A good time to check them out is just before a national holiday where they’re likely to have a themed event with lots of people. Some pubs are friendlier than others, so it’s worth trying a few.

Get a part-time job

When I moved, I had an office job and lived in a fairly remote place. Most of my coworkers lived far away and just wanted to spend time with their families during evenings and weekends. So I looked into getting a part-time job somewhere a little more social. It’s not for everyone, but bar work or library/shop volunteering can mean you meet far more people compared to working in an office.

Join a fitness class

If you’re not averse to the idea of exercise, join a local fitness class or sign up for a class at your gym. It’s more sociable than just going to the gym itself or exercising at home.

Go to a geeky conference or talk

Nerd at heart? Try booking a conference on a topic you’re interested in, or take a look at university websites and Twitter feeds as many offer quirky public lectures. The added bonus is that a lot of people go to these things on their own and it’s easier to get chatting to someone else also on their own. Lanyrd.com is a good place to find one-off events covering a range of subjects, and you can also see which of your Twitter contacts are speaking/attending too.

Final tips

• Once you’ve started to meet a few people you like, keep the ball rolling by suggesting things to do and inviting them to bring a friend. You’ll grow your circle of friends very rapidly and you’re more likely to meet people you like and get on with as well.
• Starting a conversation with a stranger can be awkward. Avoid cliches like ‘Do you come here often?’ and instead make a specific comment about something in the environment or ask a question they can easily answer. Think of potential icebreakers beforehand if you need to.
• Give yourself a timeframe for starting a conversation with people. For example, tell yourself you’ll say something after you’ve counted to ten rather than just sitting there thinking ‘I should say something. Maybe I’ll say something in a minute’.
• If you’re not naturally confident, fake it. A smile does a lot of the work for you. Helping someone out where you can also works well.
• Set yourself goals when you leave your house, for example talking to X new people or meeting someone you like.

What are your tips for making friends as an adult? Do you find it difficult?