2012 was a train wreck from start to finish. I’m sorry, but it was. I was tempted to do one of those ‘recap of the year’ entries, but the thought of writing about month after month of disaster just put me off entirely. It was too much to deal with, and I certainly don’t want to revisit it or think about it any more.

But, I’m turning it into a positive for looking forward to 2013. It’s time to get back on track, and 2013 is going to be a good year. Rather than resolutions per se, I’ve decided to make a list of things that I want to do, mostly in the first half of the year:

Out & about

Travel – We’re definitely booking a weekend away for this month or next month – at the moment we’re looking at Bruges. One of my friends is also thinking about planning a trip to Turkey in May, so if that goes ahead I’m definitely up for it.
Theatre – I’ve got tentative plans to see friends in various productions this year, but looking around locally I’d quite like to see A Midsummer Night’s Dream, and I wouldn’t mind seeing Wicked or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the West End either.
Jenni visits – One of the higher points of 2012 was going round the country visiting various friends I don’t see in person very often (maybe a handful of times a year, if that), so I definitely want to do that again throughout this year, especially as I have even more friends moving further away.
Exercise – This makes me feel better, and I’ve heard about a good gym and pool that are actually fairly close to my house and have the added bonus of being kind of on my way to/from work, so I’ll investigate those, and maybe sign back up to my old gym if they don’t look very good.
Conferences – I managed to get to about three conferences last year, and I want to go to more this year, particularly business-themed ones if I can find any reasonable ones.

At home

Revamping – This will probably happen much later on in the year, but I definitely want to redo my room. It needs painting, and whilst I love my bed, the wardrobe has to go and I’d quite like light furniture in there rather than the dark stuff I currently have. It’s looked practically the same since I moved in six years ago, and it’s time for a change. Ideally I’d like a new kitchen, but I’m not sure that will happen this year as the fence is currently collapsing and needs replacing.
Gaming/reading/watching – I love my Wii U and my 3DS, and I want to play the new games I’ve bought and borrowed, plus revisit some old ones (like Xenoblade Chronicles) that didn’t get much of my attention. Since we’ve had Netflix access on the TV, we’ve also been watching more on that so I want to finish season 3 of Dexter and then move on to 4. There’s also plenty of Breaking Bad and 24 to watch, plus lots of Christmas stuff we recorded on the TV. Reading-wise, I’ve got an Amazon order placed for quite a few second hand novels, and I have quite a few non-fiction books I bought and never read last year.
Baking and cooking – I bought some great recipe books at the end of last year, and whilst I’ve made a couple of recipes, I definitely want to get some more new ones on the go, especially ones I can modify myself. I have lots of people to bake for, which is a bonus.

Online

Cutting back on Facebook – I went an entire week without Facebook over Christmas, and I surprised myself with how little I missed it and how much less I used my phone. I slept better, I didn’t feel like I was on call 24/7, and I don’t feel like I missed anything. Obviously I can’t give it up permanently because of my job and the fact that I have friends all over the place, but it was refreshing, to say the least. I may permanently uninstall the app from my phone as a kind of compromise.
Projects, projects, projects – This is another big push of mine for this year – getting sites finished. It’s easy enough to buy a domain name, and even easier to leave a half-finished site on it. No more. This year I’m going to finish everything I left unfinished last year. Everything.
Keep on top of emails – I hate emails with a passion. I even find it difficult to reply to emails from people offering me money. I need to push myself to just do it instead of putting it off.
Everything else – I make endless to do lists when it comes to my websites because they are my (very overwhelming and time-consuming) babies. My list is incredibly long and there’s way too much to go into right now. But I haven’t forgotten about it and I’m going to make it into some kind of more concrete plan. At some point.

Other stuff

Photography – I don’t really have any aims around this, except to get better. I have a couple of things on my wishlist to buy, but after that I’m pretty much sorted for actual equipment. I might take a course or something at some point later on in the year when there are better photo opportunities. Once I get good, I’d love to go on a safari or something, but I’m nowhere near ready for that just yet.

Hair cut – Whilst I hate the actual process of going to the hairdressers, I always feel happier after I’ve actually had my hair cut (even if I’m not massively happy with the end result), so it’s time to book an appointment very soon I think. I normally have my hair pretty much the same – a bit shorter in the summer – but it grows really fast so I might get quite a lot hacked off now. For a lot of people this probably seems like a weird thing to put a list of the YEAR, but I don’t get my hair cut that often. I am repeatedly told by people that they like my hair (even strangers, which is a little worrying) even though it’s 1) nothing special, and usually not even brushed properly and 2) MY hair. Mine. You don’t get a say in how it looks unless you’re a professional. That’s probably one of the reasons why I plan to rebel and have a lot cut off. In reality, I don’t think I’ll be able to go through with it. We’ll see.

Pampering – Last year I spent a lot of time having long relaxing baths with plenty of Lush stuff and Bomb Cosmetics stuff, and later on I started making more of an effort with my skin. I definitely want to continue that and just have pampering time where I make an effort to do my nails and hair and other stuff more. It’s a quick route to feeling better about myself, and I have plenty of stuff from Christmas.

Mind games – I have actually got a doctor’s appointment booked. I have tried everything, including mood lights to cognitive behavioural books to altering my diet and sleeping patterns, and whilst an actual trip to the GP was my absolute last resort, I think I’m at that point now. I would actually quite like to be labelled, because then at least I can get a better idea of what I’m actually dealing with. A lot of my symptoms do seem to have strong physiological roots, so hopefully that will help me get some kind of diagnosis. I would much rather handle it through what I eat and cognitive therapy and possibly counselling rather than actual drugs if possible, but I’ll cross that bridge if/when I get to it. This is by far the biggest priority for me this year; I have a lot to be happy about and a lot to be grateful for generally, and whilst I appreciate it, I find it stupidly hard to actually enjoy it. At the very least I want my motivation back, and to not negatively impact other people. The long term goal is to be happy, sustainably happy, with myself and without using anything or anyone else as a crutch. I’m not sure if this is humanly possible, but I’m going to give it a try.

So, to summarise, the main aim is to get my depression/anxieties under control, accompanied by lots of new things and experiences to look forward to and keep me happy, and reasonable achievable goals to help me feel like I’m moving forward. What are your plans or resolutions for 2013?